It's been a while since I posted last time.
After I published the website, my focus completely turned introverted staying away from things, and started to have days with painting alone. It was such a blissful time for me to just being absorbed into it surrounded by the beautiful music and the fragrance of the incenses. I was just so comfortable to be with the solitude after spending some months being active - rather I was enjoying that with full of quiet enthusiasm. This kind of "switching" point - like "on/off" or "extrovert/introvert" - comes naturally and unexpectedly against my will. And I feel pain if I try to ignore the natural flow and push myself to continue to do the same way. While I was moving place to place for this past ten years, my senses got more sensitive affected by many changes. Because of that, I got a new routine which observe how my body changes, how my mind works and how my mood swings clearly. And I realized it's not related to the figures of calendars and clocks at all. Our bodies, minds and moods are all individually working so uniquely like a cycle of the nature. So the flux itself is the pulse of one's life. After I understood about it, I stopped to try to control myself, and started to follow the flow which occurs naturally and can't be controlled. Then I knew that being honest to the flow is the most natural way to be. Anything happened in the flow is the best, even if it's anger, sadness or loneliness - it's so pure. Also, any creation which is done in the flow is just so pure as well.
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November 2024
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